Elvis Costello's 'Spike' album contained a number of songs co-written with Paul McCartney, a collaboration we've heard no more of. Here's a short script attempting to visualise that process at work.
Elvis has just sung the verse and chorus of 'Veronica' to Macca:
Macca: That needs an extra note at the end of the phrase, Elvis.
EC: No, it's fine. (sings it)
Macca: Do you see what I mean? It needs to go 'Veronica-uh' (sings it)
EC: No it doesn't.
Macca: Hey, are you telling me how to write songs or what?
EC: I'm saying it doesn't need an extra note.
Macca: Right, so Mr. Oliver's Army knows better than the bloke who wrote Sgt Pepper, and She Loves You and all the other Beatles songs? You're not even the real Elvis! I've met him, he lives in a bungalow
surrounded by beefburgers.
EC: Well, if the sleeve of Abbey Road is to be believed, you're not even
the real Paul McCartney. He died in a motorbike accident in '66.
Macca: No he didn't. I mean, I didn't. Look, are you going to put that
note in or what?
EC: You're deliberately trying to spoil my song! No wonder the other
Beatles hated you.
Macca: So you admit I'm the real Paul McCartney, then?
EC: Only the real Paul could be as irritating as you are...
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why no more was heard of the fabled
'McCartney/ Costello' songwriting partnership...
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